I had to take a month off line because the hard drive in my computer died, and then I found out what a gift that was as I spent a great family winter break, talking and going for walls and being with family and friends. I barely missed the on-line addictions but I am back now and eager to look for JOY in 2012, I have decided that my focus word for the year has to be "Joy" as that is the one thing I have been struggling with my whole life, I tend to look for the problems first instead of seeing all the great things around me.
So, life is mostly great, even though money, not so much.
Sometimes I am joking, but always half serious when I say that I think I made an agreement before I was born. I think the deal was what I call the "2 pairs of pants" deal. I only ever manage to have 2 good pairs of pants at once, then if I buy more, one tears or I spill paint on it. Same with every necessary thing, If I get extra money, my water heater dies or my tires need replaced and it and costs that exact amount. But also, I never seem to go without what I need, so if the rent is due and I am broke there will be an unexpected gift, or job,
or tax return and the exact amount will be there. I do feel like the Lily in the field who might as well not worry because the worrying changes nothing
except how I view my world and whether I notice the Joy in it.
The great thing is, there is abundance in my life, and it is in the things way more important than money. I have lived my life surrounded by those who love me and by beauty and by opportunities to be with great people in wonderful parts of the world
so this year, while I strive to move that scale, and to add to the bank balance, or at least to pay the bills, I am going to Trust that Joy will be there.