When Things Don't Matter Which Things Still Do?

When things don't matter, and the only things that matter aren't things, you start looking around at the items you worked so hard to accumulate and realize that they could all be threatened by fire and flood, and you'd grab the people in your life snd gladly let the rest of it vanish in smoke and water.

Then your mind stumbles on that one, old ragged item that you would cry to lose, and if the people were safe, you would actually snatch up and carry away with you.  In my case, it would be a threadbare, faded, stuffed chimpanzee that went from my mom's college dorm room, to my childhood bedroom, and still sits on my shelf, still stained with my tears when first grade proved a scary unfriendly place, and with her ear still holding my whispered hopes the first night I kissed the man I've now been married to for 35 years.

That makes me think of the other thing that would matter.  They aren't the things that can be bought for money, of course not, those are insured and a trip to the market takes care of the issue. The things that matter are those that are one of a kind, hand made, shared with loved ones, passed down through generations. The stories we hear from Grandparent laps to grandchildren ears. each generation gently shaping and adding their own features to a whole that still remains recognizable.

following the youtube video my granddaughter and I drew Cinderella, and hers became a Cinderkitty so we laughed and created memories along with the paper pictures

We went to story time and our octopus shared the same beginning but quickly became our own, and maybe in the future, if climate change allows a future, her grandchild might make an octopus and just maybe they won't be extinct.  People matter, the humanities that allow us to choose kindness matter, the boredom we experience when we unplug allow us to de-tox from the political trash heap and find the spark of beauty we carry.  "We are humankind, and we can choose to be both."

How I've Lost the last Three NaNoWriMo's (But I'm not quitting)

Tonight Priscilla June Slack Miller passed away in Berryville, Virginia. She was a woman who lived life passionately and will leave behind a world better for having had her in it. I love you Mom. Rest In Peace. Her funeral will be in Cody as she joins her parents and Husband out in Riverside Cemetery. I will be going back to the service. Thank you for being my sounding board 

I’m trying to write a novel in November for NaNoWriMo, and I’ve done it before four times, but this one I’ve tried since 2013 and it keeps getting blasted by outside forces. My story and my Novembers are cursed, but the story is good and deserves a chance. November 8, 2016 my mother in law died and I ended up driving 3,000 miles round trip for her funeral. End of November 2017 my Father-in-Law got sick and died Dec. 4 and my family and I took Amtrak back for his Funeral and a Family Christmas. So yesterday I dove into the story again, refreshing some research and writing 2,200 words. And my brother sent me the message that my Mom is comatose in hospice in Virginia. I’m staying home on November 16 when my husband leaves for two weeks in Europe. I know traveling has been really contributing to my muscle and joint deterioration that hasn’t quite gotten a diagnosis yet but the rheumatologist is at least eliminating some options. Not Lupus, probably not RA but maybe, IBM disease, a type of muscular dystrophy. But when my brother says, can you come to mom’s funeral in Wyoming, I just can’t explain that another 3,000 mile round trip will mean more stiffness and pain and lost abilities. He has been mom’s caretaker, and out brother with Down’s syndromes caretaker for five years now and fully deserves a hero award.

 It’s as good of a family relationship as things can be with three thousand miles between us. I love them all a bunch. My family all lived in Wyoming since my great grandparents moved there in the 1890's but my husband and I moved to Northern CA thirty years ago, my brother moved to Virginia about ten years ago, and when my Mom started developing Alzheimer’s in 2012 he moved her and our brother with Down’s syndrome out there. I’ve been there to visit but he has done all the heavy lifting, so to speak. Now he wants a funeral and to take her back to Wyoming. I’m glad to try to do things his way as much as I physically can, because he really has been our hero through this all.

So I am going to go to Wyoming for the funeral, and if I survive that, I'll do my mont of wild writing starting whenever I can. and this is what I posted about it on facebook when I thought that I'd be writing now

For five years I have researched and written on and off on a Novel that ties together the story of two boys, each living in the months leading up to a volcanic eruption but 1901 years apart. I've researched and researched some more, plotted out each boys story, along with their younger brothers and friends. What I have written is the beginning and end with a few scenes in the middle, but each time I try to write more, I get distracted. It's harder to write historical fiction than fantasy for me. So many little details to question, and in five years, the Pompeii history keeps changing as archaeologists discover new things and alter theories. A question of what I need now makes me realize I just need to flesh out the boys daily lives, similarities and differences, but show them clear enough that the readers care about how they end up since from the beginning the reader will know that bot Mt. St. Helens and Mt. Vesuvius erupted, eve though only one boy in my book knows and only about Mt. V.

So here is a thing you might be able to help with, if you lived through the 79-80 school year, and remember things 15 (main Character) or 10 (Younger brother) year old boys would have been into, and not sex or drugs because the readers I'm aiming at are 5th grade on up a bit, tell me ideas, especially in the Portland, Oregon area. 

Wish me luck this #NationalNovelWritingMonth #NaNoWriMo

Me or Books?

Both Please!

 "Grandma, what do you love the most, Me or books?"

  Well the answer was easy, but the fact that she knows books are one of the major contenders for my heart is no surprise.

"I love you most of all. I love sharing books with you because the stories matter, but we could share stories every day and never open a book or turn on a screen."


"We Could?"

 Of course we could.  We do.  When you tell me about how you are going to work every job when you grow up, and be a pirate and then an astronaut and then teach and then work at Mcdonalds"s those are stories we enjoy right now, long before they come true. And when I tell you about when I was little, or about your Dad as a baby, those are still stories that help you connect to your place in our family.

"I love being in our family."

Me too Sugar girl, more than ever now.

summer goals

People can debate back and forth forever  on writer’s block and if it is real, or how to cure it. One group of writers insists that if writing is approached like a job, and one writes every day, even if what they produce is garbage, that that “Shitty first draft” is infinitely better than having produced nothing. At least a bad draft can be improved on and polished. But even polished and fossilized shit is still just shit at the core is the counter argument.

I’m not sure it matters when after months of not writing, I have nothing but a lot of Facebook posts, and if I could have pushed through and written three books in that time is no longer relevant. I didn’t.

What might matter is the future. A school year is ending and the greater freedom of summer beckons with possibility. This year my husband is retiring as a music teacher after 29 years, and transferring to a year round, General ed. teacher at a huge penitentiary. So no family summer vacation plans. If I do as I hope to, I will discover if I am capable still of the drive needed to finish a novel. Yes, I’ve done it four times before, but this one is its own beast. Im not sure yet that I can tame it into submission while spending time digging out twenty years of clutter from the unused rooms of my house to accommodate play space for grandkids, and also playing with those grand grandkids. 

I just hope that when August comes, and a new granddaughter along with it, that I have figured out the many aches and pains of my rheumatoid arthritis and found a happy medium where I can be productive as a writer, and involved as a grandmother. 

WISH ME LUCK

A Goode Man Remembered

 So instead of going to take the great granddaughter to spend Christmas with her Great Grandpa Harvey, we ended up traveling back for a family reunion/funeral/Christmas.  It was one of the most perfectly, joy filled Celebrations of a wonderful life that I have ever attended. To Life, To Harvey Goode, to doing it even half as well as he did.

the five remaining siblings

the following is the obituary my Sister-in-law wrote

originally published in Newcastle Wyoming's Newsletter Journal

Harvey D. Goode, 88, of Newcastle, died Monday December 4, 2017 at Rapid City Regional Hospital.

He was born February 8, 1929 in Olney, Texas to Harvey C. and Effie (Powers) Goode Carter.  He grew up in Texas City, Texas on the Gulf of Mexico helping his father shrimp.  After his father’s death the family moved to Hitchcock, Texas where he graduated from high school.  Harvey was co-captain of the football team.  He worked as a shrimper and mechanic during that time.  He served in the Army during the Korean Conflict, stationed in Germany.

Harvey D.  “left nothing in Texas” and headed to the oil fields of Wyoming.  He met Mimi Ward, the cutest soda jerk at the Newcastle Drug and the rest is history.  They married in June of 1950.  The couple raised six children and had been married for 66 years at the time of Mimi’s death.

Mr. Goode continued working in the patch for many years and drilled in many places.  Harvey and Mimi were fond of telling stories of packing up the babies, tying the crib to the top of the car, and going to the next hole.  They settled in Newcastle with Harvey working at Ward’s Lumber Company, Updike Brothers, and other companies.   He owned and operated The Goode Standard Station on Main St. for several years.  He retired from Western Productions.

Harvey and Mimi were active in Jaycees with Harvey serving as state president.  They were members of bridge club and the Weston County Democrats.  Harvey liked to fish and took his children on many trips to various creeks in the Black Hills.  He enjoyed bowling in leagues, but his passion was cards.  He loved most card games especially Texas Hold Em.  He was a regular participant in Tuesday Prayer Meetings and played at the Old Style #10 until the very end.

Survivors include two daughters, Laura Goode of Lake Powell, Utah and Wendy Goode (John Rindler) of Laramie, Wyo.; three sons, Harvey H. (Francie) of Newcastle, Matthew (Andrea Tuijl) of Tucson, Ariz. and Gregory (Dixie) of Crescent City, Calif.; five grandchildren, Connor and Colton Rindler of Laramie, Austin and Emerson Goode of Crescent City, and Remi Goode-Tuijl of Tucson.  Also four great-grandchildren.  Harvey is preceded in death by his loving wife Mimi; his parents, and two sisters JoAnn Lee and Mary Grisham.  Also preceding Harvey in death is his daughter April Goode (Vince Gillette) and a grandson Cody Raben.

There will be an interment of the cremains at Greenwood Cemetery at 1:00 p.m. on December 21, 2017.  The family requests friends to gather for cake and coffee immediately afterwards at the Weston County Senior Center in the Michaels room.

so close to meeting her great grandpa

I love you, Harvey

A very Goode Man

I bought Amtrak tickets to go spend a Christmas with my Father in Law, and take his great granddaughter to meet him at last, but last night my husband’s oldest brother was with him as he died from a sudden pneumonia only half an hour after we got the call that he had been taken to the hospital. At nearly 89, Harvey has had a really good life and will be missed so much. It’s definitely one of those, sadder for all the people who will miss him, than for him himself times. He announced last year on the day before Thanksgiving at his wife of 65 years funeral, “I’m only going to live one more year.” And he had a DNR on file and was ready as anyone ever can be. Still, I am grateful for every moment I was lucky enough to be part of his family. RIP Harvey Goode, Feb. 8, 1929 - Dec. 4, 2017

Summer Reading Program

 I should have been writing this summer, but the last book I wrote was still my Redwoods book. Instead of writing, I have been traveling From the OR/CA Border Pacific Coast, to visit family in DC and then we had company visit us here and spent a lot of days playing in the Redwoods, exploring the lighthouse and the sea animals.

 Then I had to rip old, ugly carpeting out of my room, and while doing that, thin out the books crowding my bedroom library. The granddaughter thought I should keep all the books and just not put a bed back in. She assured me her dolly said the floor was comfortable to sleep on.

 but her grandpa assured me a bed was necessary so she was out-voted.

 I did keep the first books I ever wrote

 and I took the granddaughter to arts and crafts at our local library to convince both of us that we don't have to OWN every book to be able to enjoy them.

the books I got rid of

The Virdi Goode reading picnic

But of course I got new books. Three books by R. R. Virdi, with lots of super supernatural encounters, mystery, mayhem and adventure joined my own novels and picture books for a pleasant afternoon under the maple tree.

Another year, more writing and family

 I just signed up again to attend the South Coast Writers Conference in Gold Beach Oregon over Valentine's weekend.  http://writing.shawguides.com/SouthCoastWritersConference
Hopefully it will be a good weekend to focus on two of the most important parts of my life, my husband and my writing.  Last year when I attended it was wonderful for my writing, and motivated me to get back in and finish a book I'd been working on for a couple years now. It wasn't a great time for focusing on my husband however, as I was there, and he was flying up to Spokane Washington with the choir students who had qualified for All-Northwest.  For Valentine's Day we sent a few texts and a picture of the view from each Motel, and mine won hands down. But even with a gorgeous hot tub deck on the beach was still me, alone.  I did write a lot that weekend.

and blogged about it here http://duffybarkley.blogspot.com/2015/02/20th-annual-south-coast-writers.html

As always, I have been reading a lot, and as it is January, I completed my book a week reading challenge on Goodreads with 64 books read.  Looking back at my list, I see that I am a very unfocused reader.  I do read a lot of young adult and middle grade fiction, fantasy, stamping, Science Fiction and try to read a lot of books by other Indie Authors because I have found that there is much gold in that pile, often overlooked. I try to write reviews because reviews of my books matter a lot to me, but I refuse to write a 1 or 2 star review.  My reasoning there is that if the book isn't for me, I'm going to stop reading once I figure that out.  There are too many wonderful books which I will never be able to read, for me to give even one day to one that doesn't entertain or educate me.  Lately I have been getting emails asking me to read and review specific books, sometimes I say yes, but I'm not usually willing to take the time unless I am fascinated by the book description, and if I don't read it completely all I give is an email explaining why the book isn't for me.

I have also read mysteries, biographies, and children's books. My favorite books this year are probably the following ten. Not in any specific Order

The Rosie Effect by Graeme Samson
The Mancy Martial Artist (my Chocolate, the addicting series I can't begin to explain why I love) by     Richard Raley
Hi, Pizza Man (Picture book with my granddaughter is so much fun) by Virginia Walter
The Boy Who Harnessed The Wind by William Kamkwamba
Floor 21by Jason Luthor
Touching Spirit Bear by Ben Mikaelsen
The Severed Earth by Chris Presta-Valachovic
Grave Beginnings by R.R. Virdi
Gone Girl by Gillian Flynn
Division by Lee S. Hawke

and then the books I read by Tana French, John Scalzi,

The cover of the book I'm editing at the moment, book 3 in the Tales of Uhrlin, about a boy with Cerebral Palsy,  9 year old Duffy Barkley (now 13) and his adventures after surviving a school shooting and ending up in a portal world.

Two of the real life wonders that make being me as important as writing right now.  I love my Granddaughter, and have a grandson on the way, and I adore my brothers, my sons and that husband I've been with for 34 years

and my kid's picture books

I hope 2016 is off and giving you much to enjoy, challenges and people to love.